My Rude Awakening about What Love Really is

If it’s any consolation to myself and to anybody who might have a bitter taste left in their mouth after reading this post, the jury’s actually still out on what love really is all about. I’m just making an observation based on a recent encounter I had with someone I thought I might want to go ahead and settle down with, building a life together going forward.

Needless to say, as the title suggests, it was somewhat of a rude awakening!

The Bold and the Beautiful

Haha, this show actually still plays and there are people who actually still watch it. I’m merely making reference to this long-running American soap opera because it pretty much paints a picture of what a fantasy love is all about, or I may be wrong since I actually made an effort to watch it for an entire month just to get back up to speed with the full story. Yes, those are the lengths I go to in order to produce but one mere blog post…

So anyway, apparently love is not what is depicted in soap operas such as The Bold and the Beautiful! It’s NOT a feeling which causes two people “it (the feeling)” has entranced and connected to want to move heaven and earth to be together and express their love for each other physically. Apparently in this day and age love is all about just making the other person’s life easier while they reciprocate what is popularly referred to as a choice. “Love is a choice,” they say…

Again, I have to say that this is just an observation and it definitely doesn’t mean I agree with this notion…I don’t!


So at the risk of sounding like I’m contradicting myself, again, I’m going to state that love is indeed a choice, but it’s not as simple as that. You don’t just choose to love someone or choose to give your love to someone. There has to be some kind of driving force which compels you to choose to love someone, so the choice itself is a manifestation of some or other instinct.

I guess what I’m saying is that it goes back to being some kind of feeling – something which is happening to you as opposed to something which you cause to happen. Yes, there’s some action which you take to express what you believe is love, but that action doesn’t just come out of nowhere. Something has to spark it and I believe that’s probably where we tend to get it wrong.

Both factors (the feeling and the choice) are required in order for any love to stand a chance of developing positively, something which I specifically learned while I was a few weeks into a relationship with a new love interest. I was playing around with some ideas for some cool gifts for her when it suddenly hit me that the amount of money I spend doesn’t necessarily equate to the amount of “love” I have for her!

Unfortunately we weren’t on the same page and things went awry very quickly, but I guess something as simple as a happy birthday gift basket in this particular instance saved me from a life of trying to prove my love through superficial material things! No regrets!

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Tim Spafford

Tim is a student who works hard to get a degree in finance and build a successful career in business consulting. Being a student and living in London Tim has a real-life experience in budgeting, saving, money making, traveling and having fun.